Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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