i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
