I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
