she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
