Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
