I want to make a zoo with you.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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