Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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