I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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