I'm going to jail i love you
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
