I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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