I forgot how hot balto sounded
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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