: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
