I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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