so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
