i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
40s are totally the cure
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
