What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
