Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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