spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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