She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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