His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
