rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
