Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
