That's intense
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
