But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
