Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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