I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
you made out with another girl for some wings
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
