I hate all girls vehemently.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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