so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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