haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
