Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
