google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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