whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
