theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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