Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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