When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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