Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
