North Korea, Best Korea!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
