i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
