About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Of course I have a pirate flag
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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