youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
