i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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