do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
