Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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