No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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