He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
