margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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