The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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