Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
