Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
