i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
