sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
