No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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