I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
