We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
