i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
